FUNK 101(excerpt)

   FUNK: Stanky, make you move your head, frown up your face, stomp your feet, and hollah ---Hey! Funk--- I was baptized, and it became my personal mission to tell everybody I knew about Sly and the Family Stone. I rushed out and bought every album they had, sat down, and started studying FUNK 101. I loved each member of the group. My favorites were Larry Graham, Rose, and Freddy. From the moment I heard Larry's voice, a voice that rivaled the deep, thumping, relentless, groove of his bass, I fell instantly in love with him. Rose, Sly's sister, was the first female singer that had ever been featured in a band like that. You could tell she was straight out of church, so connected with the music. Her voice weaved in and out of the soulful fabric.

   Freddy, Sly's brother, always fooled you. When you expected the melody to go one way, he turned it upside down and made it his own. The guitar he played was an extension of his voice. Each note playing with your emotions, trying to make you happy or break your heart, depending on how he felt. Last but not least, Sly-----that brotha was chosen by God to be the ring leader and creator of a type of music that could reach any heart, soul, creed, color, or location. And it shall be called Universal Funk.

   I first experienced my idols while working in Vegas with the Pipers. We were in Vegas so much, we had run out of late night shows to go see. After we did our last set, it was late, we were wired up, and not quite ready to call it a night. So we looked for some place, any place, to go and party until we were ready to drop. I had seen Wayne Cochran and the CC Riders about eighty-five times. I would alternate between him and the Platters. I saw their acts so many times, they recognized me in the audience. One sweltering summer Vegas day, it was my turn to go grocery shopping. As I was speeding back to the Bali, I saw what looked like: Appearing now! "Sly and the Family Stone" on the Flamingo marquee. I sped up and took a closer look. I was not hallucinating. They would be opening that very same night! We were off, so I begged Sherry, my room mate, to come with me and check them out. She was into Carol King and Laura Nero at the time, so I had to drag her to the show. When we got there, I was so excited I was getting on my own nerves. I couldn't believe my eyes. There was hardly anyone in the audience. How lucky could I get? Sherry and I sat down right in front. I gazed at each one of them until I had a firm image in my mind, so that when I went back to the Bali I could relive every moment. Deep, huh?

   Larry was tall, slim, dark, and very handsome. He had long hair…fried and swooped to the side, big eyes, and the brightest smile with the most perfect set of white teeth I'd ever seen. Rose was little, about 5 ft. She had pretty features but looked mean. I didn't understand where those notes came from because she hardly opened her mouth when she sang. She was wearing a short, curly, white wig that didn't look half bad. Freddy was tallish, with a nice body, and a pleasant, down to earth vibe. He sang "Try A Little Tenderness" by Otis Redding and made tears come to my eyes. Cynthia, the trumpet player was tall, with flawless skin the color of golden honey, and a medium sized natural. Cynthia also had a pretty face but she had masculine mannerisms. From a distance she looked like a really cute guy. Jerry played the saxophone. You could tell by looking at him that he was a clown and just glad to be able to make a living doing the thing he loved best. He was having fun. He was shorter than Cynthia with a Big Apple cap pulled down over his eyes and a long, curly ponytail. He had a friendly face and smiled a lot. Greg the drummer was cute. He got Sherry's attention right away. He was beating the hell out of those drums as his hair flew every which way. He was definitely holding the groove down. Sly was positioned in the center of the stage, behind a keyboard. He wasn't tall, about 5'9, with an air of confidence that could easily be mistaken for arrogance. Sly had a slim face that was hidden beneath a rhinestone-studded hat. The only thing you could see were his huge teeth. He gave you the feeling that he was in full control and all you had to do was just fasten your seat belt and he would do the rest. He then took his place as the captain, and he and his crew took you as high as you could go without drugs. The show was mesmerizing, the groove of the funk had me hypnotized, and I was in heaven in the Flamingo lounge.

   After it was over, I couldn't move. I was exhausted. Sherry had a good time, but she was ready to go. I wanted to linger hoping that maybe one of the band would come out and have a drink. Sherry was bugging, so we got up to leave. As we were walking out, I saw Rose and Larry about 20 feet ahead of us. I got the vibe they were together. I could have sworn to Sherry later that night that Larry looked straight in my eyes and smiled at me.

   Sherry said, "Yeah, Patty, I'd be seeing things too if I drank two Long Island Iced Teas."

   "Whatever Sherry."

   It's ok…this is my world of fantasy and everyone knows me here.

   Now here I was two years later, on the verge of sharing the same stage with my idols. In two years they had become huge. "Thankufallettinmebemiceelf" was all over the radio, and Larry had set a precedent for bass players all over the world. The New Perspectives' bass player, Alex, could hardly wait to study Larry up close.

   The time had come, the MC was announcing the "New Perspectives". I couldn't tell you what happened after we went on if you paid me. I was in a zone. All I remember is the reception we got. We were local and unknown for the most part, but the audience accepted and cheered us, so I guess we were pretty good! I do remember that I practically ran off stage to the dressing room to change. Sly was next, and I wanted to get a bird's eye view and not miss one single note! The guys were on a natural high. They felt we had a successful show, and they were busy acting like big shots in front of their various women.

   We congratulated one another and I rushed to go find the perfect spot. Once again I was mesmerized, even more so this time because the huge crowd was partying and the band was soaking up the energy. As their set was coming to an end, they broke into "I Want To Take You Higher." The Forum seemed to levitate as Sly truly took us all higher. The crowd went into a frenzy when they realized the group was leaving the stage for the night. I watched as they walked slowly past me, drenched and exhausted. Mission accomplished.

   As they disappeared into their dressing rooms, I immediately went to  find Dick. I almost ran into him as I turned a corner at the end of the hallway. He had been very busy and I had not had a chance to see or talk to him at all. I was anxious to know what he thought about our set.

   "Hey baby, slow down! I hope you're looking this hard for me," he said grinning.

   " As a matter of fact, I am looking for you, my brotha! So what did you think?"

   " About what, my sistah?"

   " Quit playing Dick! How did we sound?" I was almost out of breath from excitement.

   " I didn't hear the whole thing. The part I did hear was hot though. You just stick with me and I'll take you where you want to go."

   " Well, right now I want to go meet Larry Graham. Will you introduce me to him?" I asked.

   " You only want to meet him?" he asked frowning.

   " Yes, only him."

   Dick and I were not involved in an intimate relationship only because I made it a point to avoid one. First of all, he was older than I was used to, but more importantly, I knew it wasn't smart to mix business with pleasure. We went out a lot and everywhere we went it was obvious that it was no problem for him to have any woman he wanted. I didn't know why he was even interested in me at all. He was though, and I wanted to keep it that way.

   " Ok, come on."

   He led me down the hall, and posted me right outside of a dressing room.

   " Wait here for a minute," he said.

   A few seconds later, he came out and told me the group was dressing and they'd be out in a minute. Although I could hardly wait to meet Larry, I didn't want to stand outside of his dressing room door like a groupie, so I walked down near the stage entrance. The Young Rascals were up on stage by this time, and were into their first song. I was listening when Dick came, grabbed me by the hand, and took me to meet Larry.

   " Larry," Dick said, "uh, this is my artist Patryce Banks." His grip was so firm on my hand he almost cracked my knuckles.

   " Hi Larry, I really love your music. It's very nice to meet you."

   I was in heaven at the Forum.

   Grinning from ear to ear, Larry was polite and said, " Thanks, it's real nice meeting you, too. Take care."

   I could see from the corner of my eye that Dick was watching me watch Larry walk to an awaiting limo. I couldn't hide the admiration in my eyes as I turned to Dick.

   " I'm going to go check out the Rascals' show," I said. " I'll be standing right over there." I pointed to the spot where I would be. I liked the Rascals'. I particularly liked their song "Groovin".

   Dick said, "I'll be back. Gotta check on the money."

   Though I may have been in the Forum standing on the side of the stage watching the show, I was mentally in that limo with Larry, going wherever he wanted to take me. A chill up my spine pulled me reluctantly away from my fantasy. You know--- the feeling you get when someone is staring a hole in your back. Irritated by the intrusion, I tried to act nonchalant as I turned around to see who was behind me. Oh. My. God. It was dark, and maybe my eyes were playing tricks on me------no, that was Larry! I gave him a sort of little "surprised to see you" look and a pleasant smile. Meanwhile I was afraid my knees were going to give out on me and I'd have to commit suicide. Larry smiled back. Where did he get those teeth? I knew he had invested some serious money in his smile because I had all of Sly's albums. Before the band became successful, Larry's mouth was tore up and needed a major overhaul. It worked, because now his smile had magical powers and he knew it. It took everything I had to continue to stand there and act like I was into the music. If anyone ever deserved an Oscar for the best performance, it was me. I felt him closing in on me from behind.

   " Good show huh?" Larry's deep voice and warm breath seduced my ear.

   " Not as good as yours," I sincerely replied.

   " Can I talk to you for a minute?" he asked.

   " Sure." There is a God, I thought.

   The music was loud, so I followed him out into the hallway where the dressing rooms were.

   " I wanted to invite you to the hotel for an after party. The group's leaving early in the morning and I'm trying to stay busy. Want to come?"

Hell yeah! I thought.

   Call me naïve, but an after party at the hotel with Sly and the Family Stone was a dream come true.

   " I'd love to go, but I came here with my manager Dick. It wouldn't be right for me to leave without him." I said reluctantly," but thanks for asking, maybe next time."

   As if there will ever be a next time.

   As bad as I felt about turning Larry down, I was glad I could hold on to my dignity. He said he understood, asked for my number and said he'd call later on that night.

   I got home late because I had to wait for Dick to wrap everything up. On the way, we went over the nights' events. He was busy complaining about money and how he was going to make some changes for the next concert. I wasn't thinking about money because I didn't make any that night. I didn't want Dick to know I was trippin' over Larry, so I mostly listened to him and pretended to be exhausted. When I finally got into bed, it was about 2:30 am. I called Priscilla, my best friend. I had given her and her man comp tickets to the show and had only seen her once, briefly, backstage. I called her now to fill her in on all the details.

   She picked the phone up seemingly before it even rang.

   " What took you so damn long?" She knew it was me.

   " Girl, I'm so tired. It has been a night. Wait until I tell you what happened!"

   We stayed on the phone an hour and a half, while I explained in detail every second of my experience. Because she was my friend, she felt my pain but had to honestly say, " You are crazy. I don't believe you let that one get away! If you commit suicide, can I have your long leather coat with the fur on the collar?" We both laughed.

   " Forget you, Priscilla. I'm tired of talking to you. See you tomorrow." I was so sleepy my eyes were crossing.

   I hung up the phone and lay there hoping to drift off into a dream about Larry. Just then the phone rang, I thought it was Priscilla.

   " What?" I asked.

   " Hello Patryce?"

   How could two words sound so sexy?

   " Hi Larry."

   Thank you, Jesus.

   " I was hoping you would still be awake," he sounded relieved. "I know it's kinda late."

   " Not really. As a matter of fact, I just hung up from talking to a friend of mine. I guess you took a party break huh?"

   " Actually I'm turning in. I just wanted you to know I'm staying in LA for an extra day. I'll be busy tomorrow during the day, but do you think we can get together tomorrow night?" he asked.

   My heart stood still, I forgot to breathe.

   " Sounds great," I said. "We can definitely do that."

   "Ok. I'll call you tomorrow. Sweet dreams."

   "Good night." I was so excited I had butterflies in my stomach. I don't even remember closing my eyes.

   " Pat! It's time to get up!" Mama was trying to wake me up. I rolled over and looked at the clock----1:45. It was late! I had things to do. I had to rush down to the Broadway on Crenshaw to find something really cute to wear. Maybe I'd go to Miss Amber's up on Hollywood Blvd. instead. I needed to wash my hair …..I should have been up!

   " Pat!" mama yelled, bugging.

   " Yeee-eesss," I yelled back, but not too loud.

   " I need you to run some errands for me, " she said as she came into my bedroom.

  " Mama I have so much to tell you, but I've got a million things to do so I hope we can work this out. What do you need done?" I asked, distracted.

   While she was running down her list, I knew I would be lucky to get just one thing done for her, so I pretended to listen. The last item on the list was to pick up clothes from Rocket, the cleaners over there on Rodeo Road, next to Boys Market.

   I said, " Ok."

   The day was a whirlwind. I managed to pick up the cutest little outfit at Miss Ambers', Hip huggers with a halter top. Hot. Nothing too revealing, just enough to arouse some serious curiosity. When I got back home, I gave mama the clothes from the cleaners. I asked if I had received any phone calls while I was out….. negative.

   " Why are you rushing around here like a chicken with your head cut off?" she asked.

   I told her I had a hot date with Larry Graham from Sly and the Family Stone.

   " Who?" she asked, clueless.

   " I'll explain it all to you later. I need to start getting ready."

   I couldn't believe she had not been listening to me play Sly's music for the past two years. I had to sit her down and hip her to the happenings, convert her into a Funkateer.

   By the time Larry called at 7:45, all I had to do was put my clothes on. I drove to meet him where he was staying. It was a quaint setup with individual bungalows right off Sunset. I liked the idea of the privacy with him. Even though I was happy to be with him, I didn't want to be considered by his entourage as just another groupie. I picked him up and we went to get something to eat. Yamashiro's was close. The atmosphere was cozy and the panoramic view was beautiful and romantic. Perfect choice. Yamashiro's food left a little to be desired, but the drinks were right!

   Larry was easy to talk to. He told me he lived in Oakland, and was raised there. His grandmother lived with him (that gained him 5 gold stars in my book). He stayed in LA an extra day to purchase a Saluki, an exotic breed of dog. He named the dog Cheetah. I mostly listened. When he said he wanted to know something about me, I felt a little insecure about relaying my dull life to him but he seemed genuinely interested. He didn't even laugh when I told him I had been a Doodletown Piper.

   We went back to his bungalow after dinner. It was obvious he expected me to stay. I wanted to except for one thing----I was scared to death! I felt so inadequate I couldn't wait to get out of there. I told Larry I was on my cycle. He seemed to have no problem with it. He almost seemed amused. I was embarrassed so I told him it was time for me to go. It was getting very late and I knew better than to walk into mama's house while the sun was coming up. Before I walked out of the door he pulled me close. I prayed he couldn't feel my heart trying to leap out of my chest as we kissed. Larry told me he'd call when he got back to Oakland.

   On my drive home, I knew I had blown it with him for real this time. If nothing else happened, I could say I came as close to a dream come true as I probably ever would. After all, I rationalized, it was no great big deal to him. I was just something to do while he was in LA. I'm sure he had more than enough women to keep him seriously busy. If he ever gave me a second thought, I would just be the one that got away. I could live with that.

   The next morning I called Priscilla and told her everything. Once again she told me I was crazy and asked me if I needed a ride to the doctor for some medication.

   " Forget you, Priscilla," I said before laughing and hanging up on her.

   I had been with Larry on Sunday. He left Monday. Tuesday came and no phone call. Well, that was that. It was time to move on. It was just as well, because I had some real decisions to make. Now that the Forum gig was over, I had to concentrate on the upcoming tour with Magic, Faith, and Soul. We only had five more weeks before we left. I hadn't told my band or Dick about the pending gig. I knew the fellas would be upset because they felt like we were finally getting our break. I wasn't sure how Dick was going to react, but it was time to find out.

   I called a meeting with the group. They were all excited thinking I had good news for them. They were hoping I was going to say we were about to get the bomb gig and make some money. When I broke the news that I was leaving and would be gone for five weeks-----all hell broke loose. You would have thought I was Gladys leaving the Pips. I tried to reassure them that all they had to do was continue to practice and I would be back before they could even miss me. They left grumbling, I heard a few snatches of conversation, things like "…..females be trippin'" and "…one monkey don't stop no show." Whatever.

   The next day I called Dick and asked him out to lunch. He came to pick me up at 1:00 on the dot. When I got in the car, he asked, " Where are we going? I hope it's somewhere close because I have an appointment in an hour." It was obvious he was distracted and rushing. I suggested we go about five minutes away to Fatburger on Western and 29 th.

   " That works for me," he said grinning.

   When we finished eating at my mama's kitchen table, I told him I was going out of the country to work with Magic, Faith, and Soul. I gave him all the details and told him I was working with them for this gig only.

   " You waited long enough to tell me," he said, wiping the grease from his fingers.

   " I was nervous about telling you. You've done so much for my group, I didn't want to seem ungrateful, and I didn’t want you to get angry."

   " Woman, I'm about making money. You go ahead and do your thing. When you get back, we'll just pick up where we left off. I've got some real solid things getting ready to happen and I plan on using the group. Just make sure they stay on top of the music."

   " I talked to them already. They weren't too thrilled, but it'll be alright," I assured him.

   Rising to leave, "I'm really going to miss you lady," Dick said. "We'll get together before you leave. I'll call you later."

   After he left, I sat at the kitchen table thinking. I hoped I wasn't making a mistake by leaving. The New Perspectives were excited and picking up momentum and Dick had plans for the group. I couldn't pull out of this gig at the last minute though, besides, I needed the money. So let that be the reason.

   Talking to everybody lifted a burden off my shoulders. Now I could throw myself into rehearsals, get my outfits together, make sure I had enough wigs, take care of my passport business, get my immunization shots, etc. etc. The only thing I was trying not to do was think about Larry.

   The rehearsals were coming along well. The harmony and choreography were tight. The guys and I had formed a bond. They thought of me as a little sister. As goofy as they could sometimes be, I felt safe with them. This was important because we were going very far away. I needed to feel they thought of me as more than some chick singer who was serving the purpose of helping them make money. I needed to know they had my back and we were in this together.

   It was Saturday. I finally had a chance to take out a little time for myself. While relaxing in the bath tub, my mind took it's familiar path back to thoughts of Larry. Exactly a week ago I was in another world. Sometimes it seemed like a dream but Larry's warm mouth, smiling eyes, and "goose bumps" provoking voice, had been all too real. I was determined to throw myself into my work hoping to forget just how real.

   Ring! My Princess phone tinkled at 4:00 am. I was passed out. I had picked Priscilla up and we went to the Imperial West, a joint out on Imperial Highway by the LAX airport. So far, I had been unsuccessful at forgetting how Larry had impacted my life. I was tired of trying to ignore all the thoughts of him that constantly invaded my brain. After some serious partying, two Long Island Iced Teas, and my regular distribution of fake phone numbers, I finally made it home and plopped into bed.

   The phone rang a third time before I picked it up.

   " Hello"… Damn! I was sounding like Barry White….silence on the other end.

   " Uh…. who's this?" I croaked.

   " This is Larry…is this Patryce?"

   " Hi Larry," I said, trying to cover up my embarrassment and clear my throat. " I was deep into it."

   "I was thinking about you. I'm out with the group. We're in New York. How are you?" he asked, sounding concerned.

   " Oh, I'm fine, I know I don't sound like it. I stayed out a little late tonight that's all. How have you been?" The blood was starting to flow again.

   " I've been gigging all week, that's why I haven't called. One nighters are rough sometimes. Listen, I'm going home tomorrow. I'll be there for a minute. I was wondering if you could come up and visit?" he asked.

   " Come to Oakland?"… definitely caught me off guard.

   " Yeah, I'll book a flight for you on PSA. Just tell me when and I'll make all the arrangements. Is that cool?"

   I pinched myself, ouch! This was happening for real.

   " Well, ok, let me see what I can come up with. Can you call me tomorrow?"

   " I'll call you when I get home. Try your best to make it happen alright? Sweet dreams."

   Sweet dreams my ass. Now how was I supposed to pull this one off?

   Let me think. Ok…..what am I going to tell mama?

   It took most of the rest of the morning, but I came up with a plan. It wasn't the best but it was the quickest. I only had one friend, Judy, who knew how to drive…this was a very important element. I would tell mama I was going to spend the weekend with Judy. She still lived with her parents too. I would say goodbye on Friday, and tell mama I'd see her the following Monday. I would then proceed to pick Judy up and go to the airport. She would keep my car and pick me up when I came home. When Larry called I told him what the plan was, and he made the flight arrangements. On PSA, a round trip ticket between LA and Oakland was $11.00.

   I was so nervous, I wasn’t sure I'd be able to go through with it. Judy was rambling on about how cool the whole situation was and how she wished she was going with me. Whenever she took a breath between sentences, I was tempted to tell her to turn around and forget the whole thing. I kept asking myself if I knew what I was doing, the answer was always the same….no. Larry was a virtual stranger and I was putting my trust in him. My mama taught me better than this but I couldn't and didn't want to stop myself. God watches over babies and fools. I was out there now and there was no turning back.

   As the plane was coming in for a landing at the Oakland airport, I could only think how happy I was. As soon as I got off the plane, Larry's face was the first thing I saw, with that ever present million dollar smile. From the moment we hopped into his GTO Judge, with the orange paint job on the body and a custom made paisley top, I felt I was finally in my world. It seemed to me we were made for each other and had known one another from a previous life. I recognized something in his eyes that made me instantly relax and feel safe. We talked with one another about everything, the words spilling from our mouths. I was telling him all about my hectic schedule preparing for the tour. He was talking a mile a minute and kissing me on the cheek between sentences. We made our way up a long winding road behind the Oakland Zoo to Larry's house. When we pulled up into his semi-circular driveway, I was thoroughly impressed. It was a sprawling ranch style home nestled on top of a small hill…no view, but two out of three wasn't bad. Larry was in a hurry to catch his friend's last set, so I didn't really get a chance to check things out inside of the house but what I did see was nice. I could tell he had a housekeeper, everything was clean, shiny, and smelled like Pledge. We changed clothes and left. We went to a local joint, The Showcase on Telegraph Ave., listened to his friend's band, and had drinks. Larry was a big fish in a small pond. Throughout the evening he attracted attention and was treated like a star. He loved it and so did I. I felt like a princess because he treated me like one. On the way back to his house, we stopped at the Doggie Diner and picked up some food to soak up the alcohol we drank.

   Later that night when we made the ultimate love connection it was like an out-of-body experience. All I could feel was the flow of his rhythm.

   The weekend was a kaleidoscope. We spent every minute enjoying each other's vibe. I met his grandmother, Mama Em. She didn't know what to make of me at first. I guess she thought I was just some hussy Larry was messing with. I was determined to make her my friend. I vowed to myself that if I came to visit Larry again, I would spend more time with her.

   Sunday afternoon came waaaaaaay too soon. The ride back to the Oakland airport was sad and heavy. I didn't want to go home, and Larry didn't want me to leave. He waited with me until it was time to board the plane. An observer would have thought we had known each other forever, and were never going to see each other again. My legs didn't want me to get on the plane. My arm didn't want to lift my hand to wave goodbye. My eyes wanted to cry. After the plane took off and the fasten seat belt sign went off, I ordered a coke to drink with my peanuts. This adventure was a miracle, I am a witness that dreams really do come true. Within two short weeks my life's journey had gone in a direction that was so perfect it was scary. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. Would I ever be satisfied again with life as I had known it? As far as I was concerned, Larry was my soul mate and we were meant to live happily ever.

   Judy was there waiting when I exited the baggage claim area. I looked like I had lost my best friend.

   " What's the matter with you?" she asked frowning.

   " I'm under a spell," I said dreamily.

   I thought Judy was going to hit something with my car, she was laughing so hard.

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